I got an email yesterday from a dear friend of mine asking
me to give her some advice on how to manage it all. I am not the best at time management,
but, I have had to get used to juggling a lot of different aspects of my life.
Balancing being a wife, working mom, professional, and being
involved in the community can be a challenge. Throw in making time for workouts, helping kids with homework, cooking healthy dinners, etc., it can be
darn right overwhelming at moments.
Recently, I had what I call a “Moment.” I was completely overwhelmed. My husband of twelve years (not
the first time he has witnessed this) calmly looked at me and said, “Honey all
the things you are stressed about, you brought on yourself. We have a great life, now get up and deal
with it. Put a plan together.” And just like that, he was gone. I remember laying there, the tears stopped and
it was like those words were the reality I needed to hear. That was it, I needed to put my big girl
pants on and get a plan together.
From an accumulation of articles, blogs, advice from friends
and my own project management skills, I have come up with some useful
strategies for making it all work without going crazy (well for the most part).
So… here it is.
Get Sleep, this
is easier said than done but I have found that if I don’t get at least six
hours of sleep, I am a wreck. Eight
hours is preferred but let’s get real, it’s not always possible. I have found
that drinking tea before I go to bed helps calm my mind.
Workout Regularly-
this is also easier in theory but it can actually work. I use a monthly calendar and plan out my
workouts in advance for the week. I post
that calendar on my desk at work and also on my refrigerator at home. In addition, I sink it with my Outlook
calendar so my schedule (my commitment) cannot escape me. Monday, Thursday, and Saturday, I run with my
girlfriend. We have a standing plan to meet at 5am at a particular corner in
our neighborhood. Tuesday, Wednesday and
Friday, I use my lunch hour to lift weights.
Tuesday’s I do arms and chest, Wednesday’s I do shoulders and back, and
Friday’s I do legs. Sometimes I will
change it up but for the most part, that’s my routine. I have also found that by having a buddy to
workout with I am less likely to skip he workout.
For me, exercising can be the first thing I let go when I am
stressed. This is terrible because it is
so self-defeating. I know a lot of moms in particular feel guilty about putting themselves first, but,
you absolutely need to because if “mama ain’t happy, no one is.” That’s a funny saying but it is so true. If you take care of yourself and feel good
about “you” it will overflow into everything else that you do.
Plan Ahead- this one is huge. First, plan your meals. This is part of
keeping a healthy diet and I have found that if I don’t plan ahead, I am at the
vending machines. I have gotten in the habit of using a couple of hours on
Sunday to prepare meals for the week. I
also prepare my food for the week by putting meals into little containers and
label them Monday thru Friday. This
makes it easy because your meals are ready to just grab.
Second, get the kids ready.
The night before school, I go through my kids backpacks and make sure
they are ready for the next school day. This includes making sure their
homework is in their backpack, water bottles and snacks are in place, etc. This
really helps to avoid chaos in the morning.
Third, back your gym bag. I mentioned earlier that I try to work
out over my lunch break. I pack my gym
bag for the week and just leave it at work. This includes clothes, a towel to
shower off, toiletries, etc.
Fourth, lay out my outfit for the morning. The one thing
that can be really frustrating is not knowing what to wear in the morning. Or
knowing what you want to wear only to find that it was not sent to the dry
cleaners or is in a wrinkly mess on the bottom of your closet floor. Planning ahead makes all of this go so much
smoother.
Create a Vision Board-
some people may roll their eyes at this one, but, I love having a bigger vision
of my life. I put all kinds of things on my board and keep it in a place that I
can see every day. I have things on their like my dream house, a picture of a
place I have always wanted to visit, etc. This is
a wonderful family exercise because it teaches children to focus on the
positive. When I walk by this board, it makes me smile.
Have fun- a few
months ago, I was sitting on the floor in our office with piles of paper,
bills, etc. I was on a mission to get things done and didn’t have a lot of time
to do it. My six year old son came into the room with his tool belt on holding
his hammer and said, “Mommy, please come outside and play with me.” Immediately I said, “No, I have too much work
to get done and besides that I have already taken a shower and have my pajamas
on” and kept on sorting through the piles of paper. He started crying, sat down
and said, “You can come out in your pj’s.
Mommy, I just want to be with you.”
His words hit my heart like a ton of bricks. My eyes filled with tears
and I thought this is not the way I want him to remember me. I put down the paper I was holding, gave him
a hug and heading to the backyard to play.
All this is to say, at the end of our life, we are not going to be
laying there on our death bed wishing we could file that one last bill or work
another day at that company. Instead, we
are going to wish for one more moment with the people we love. From that moment on, I have made a conscious
decision to have fun at least one time every day. And yes, sometimes that means
scheduling it in the calendar.
Finally... CHILL...Because You Got This
It's important to remember that everything might not work smoothly at first and not everything will go as planned. Don't be hard on yourself, we are only one person. I love the saying at the top of this post because it is so realistic and so true. Nothing will happen over night, however, with a lot of planning, dedication, thought and faith it will all come together. Just remember, nothing great comes without a few obstacles and most importantly...You Got This!
